At the dawn of my fortieth birthday, a new adventure is about to begin. Becoming a mother is a gift of life that did not seem destined to me. Quite simply because I had put it aside several years ago. I really wanted to start a family and have children one day but this project was for me the thing to do after...
I wanted to travel. See the world. It was a priority. But the after a while, it ended up being late. The right person did not arrive.
There was one that showed up a long time ago, but it was too early for me. I didn't want this tidy life. Not immediately. The majority of people start their families young but it just didn't happen to me that way.
I went on my way alone. My dreams. My projects. My trips. I became a flight attendant. I've written books inspired by my many travels. I flew on stand-by to Nassau, Hawaii, Portugal. At first, I felt in my element and happy. Even alone.
Then, the more time passed, the more I started comparing myself to others and doubting my previous choices.
Highborne cay – Bahamas
The majority of those around me were now in a relationship. They welcomed their first child and started their family.
Everyone lives their life in their own way. It shouldn't have one plot better than the other. But I felt a pressure. I felt judged and began to doubt my past decisions. It hasn't been easy. I often cried.
I blamed myself for not having wanted to “fit in”. I was told to be too difficult with men and especially to travel too much. They were trying to solve my “problem”.
To be difficult, I was. Just like Scarlett in my novels, I was waiting for my prince charming.
Writing my third novel in Spain
But at some point, I started listening to journalists. That's what my father calls them... These people who make us doubt ourselves, our ideals, our dreams.
I've dated guys who pissed me off just to try to fit in. I fell in love with men who had nothing to offer me but where the desire was stronger than anything. I confused love and passion. I was lost.
I even settled into a small condo in town and didn't travel between my flights to have a more normal life and meet the man of my life.
Then one day, nothing was right. This stability made me unhappy. I was trying hard to stay stable, to live in my apartment, because I had to go to a more normal life to meet someone... That's actually what I had come to believe.
I had been told so many times, "How do you think you can meet someone if you're always gone?" “I was launched to the flight.
Happiness was not there. Wasn't that the most important thing? Feeling on my X?
I was frozen in inaction just to meet someone. Unable to accept my true nature. That of movement. Travel. To be near the sea, an element that soothes me so much and makes me so happy.
As I did not understand the message, life took care of it. She burned down the building next to my accommodation and I was kicked out of my house for months. I realized that I would find my happiness doing what I loved: traveling and above all spending most of my time near the ocean.
It doesn't matter if I was alone.
Victor and me in the ocean
To lighten my load, I sold everything and sublet my apartment. As it was the right thing to do, the path paved easily. A friend had just separated. She was looking for a condo that was furnished and available now. I jumped at the chance.
I then decided to accept all the offers of adventures that came my way. I had to let go and let life teach me my way. For me, it was while traveling that I experienced revelations.
I went to Australia to join two friends. I took the opportunity to spoil myself and dive on the Great Barrier Reef for a week. At the same time, I made a visit to Bali and a friend came to join me there. This trip will remain a memorable experience.
Spirit of Freedom Diving in Australia
Travel offers poured in.
I sailed on a sailboat for ten days in the Bahamas. I visited New Orleans with the girls. I spent New Year's Day in Mexico.
One day a friend invited me to join him on a trip to Cabarete, Dominican Republic. I followed him between two flights. He left and I stayed for a month. A month alone in a city that I did not know but where I felt curiously good. A first for a long time.
It hadn't happened to me before. From feeling good in one place to wanting to stay there for a long time.
It was obvious though. I was in the Dominican capital of water sports. Me who loves the sea, surfing, diving. What's more, I could get there in just a four-hour flight, from Montreal to Puerto Plata. For an air hostess, I had hit the jackpot!
I decided to stay there between my flights. In the meantime, I met Victor, a Dominican who did not interest me on board but as I was alone, I agreed to do activities with him.
The famous saying that love happens when you least expect it has proven true for me.
For the first time, I learned to love a person for who he is and not for what he has or what he represents.
Three years later, we decide to build a family together.
At the dawn of my 40th birthday, I look back and tell myself that these tears, these heavy moments of loneliness were worth it.
I landed in Cabarete not because I had decided to but because life had decided so.
I don't know the future, neither its ups nor its downs, but I know that for the moment, I am on my X and I will try to listen to life more. Only she knows what is good for me.
To travel is to let life teach you your way.
Give him the chance to show it to you.